Saturday, February 26, 2011

Pirates and Riddick's plan

Let me be clear about this post. I am disgusted and heart broken about the killing of 4 Americans by Somali pirates. Not because they are Americans, I was just as saddened by the capture of other hostages.

In my opinion, and since this is my blog, and if someone doesn't like what I'm saying they can turn the freaking channel, I get to say it.

Pirates need to be the hunted parties. US needs to be the big bully of that neighborhood for a while. The "hood" I'm speaking of is the open International waters off the coast. If ships have business being there, fine leave them be, and in extension offer them safe passage by our presence.

But Pirates need to be eliminated. Yes, yes I know that they are poor, desperate human beings. But they aren't robbing ships of money and valuables, they are taking people hostage, mis-treating them and killing them, for an expected pay out. That goes beyond my ability to offer them any understanding of their economic position.

I call BS!

Riddick's plan and offer in all this ranting while we drink our morning coffee is simple. He as a former service member is very happy to offer his services for two weeks at a time, either sniping pirates or better yet acting as a decoy.

He's happy to cruise around on a Trimaran, with some nicely trained military folks hidden aboard. What better decoy than a white guy on an expensive boat, just what the pirates love!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Letting Go

I have a past. There I said it. Not a sordid one. I wasn't a stripper, didn't have sex with the football team, didn't commit any felonies (or misdemeanors).

My past is an abusive long term marriage. I'm not in one now. In fact, I am in the polar opposite marriage.

Riddick and I aren't perfect, in fact we are both basically dorks. But we are loving, god fearing, gentle dorks that respect each other and others, and try and stumble through this earthly existence without doing harm to anyone else.

We remind ourselves when we get tired and worn out from this life, that our reward is not here on earth but in heaven.

But, well actually, not but, more like a heavy pause.

This past weekend was a tough one for me, and in extension, Riddick. My past came to bite me in the butt in a way and through a person I did not expect. When you live a life with abuse and don't tell anyone, when you do tell people, you don't always get the support or understanding that you want.

Maybe they can't give it to you because they don't have it, or maybe they (like in this case) don't really get it, and probably never will.

So I'm looking to let go. Finally let go of all the hurts and just let people think what they want and be who they are, without me having the need for them to understand me.

I'll let you know how my journey goes, I'm nervous, frankly thinking I'll never be free, but I'm praying, praying like I mean it, and loving like I mean it so I'll keep plugging along.

Runnin

Still runnin, still lovin it. That statement is so surprising to me. Very happy that I can run, that I can bike, that I can swim or take long ass walks, basically I'm blessed. Even though I don't like the appearance of all my body parts, I am healthy and strong and can do whatever I want and the worst thing that will happen is I might bet sore the next day.

Thankyou Lord!
PLYMI

Friday, February 11, 2011

Running update

Still going strong, up to 2.5 miles running added with at least a mile of walking.

Yesterday was a reminder for me that my sweet dog Mrs. Maya is 70 in dog years.

She just about didn't make it, I worried I would have to carry her, my poor girl.

Thinking of losing her is horrible, although I know it will happen. If she dies it will be the last think of my "old" life left to go.

It's an odd feeling to realize that Riddick et all my new family only know me. They never knew my Dad, ofcourse didn't know my Mom, and really haven't gotten to know my extended family

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Nothing I have ever wanted to hear

I spent some time yesterday with a very close friend, someone who is more like my family. She's in pain. Her marriage is not going well and the pain in her voice and on her face is so apparent.

I sat and listened to her, just taking in what she had to say, and it was as if someone was describing my first marriage, but it was all coming out of her mouth. The deception, loneliness, frustration and feeling of utter confusion as to what to do when the person you are married to changes into someone that you don't know, and frankly, don't want to know.

It makes me all the more grateful for Riddick. Last night was very hard on me, I was in a odd place, living my life now, but thinking of my life than. And I hate those times. It leaves me exhausted and with a night of bad dreams.

Sometimes I do wish we could wipe our minds of all the bad memories. Those memories and experiences do make us the people we are now, but the person I am now is not as brave or secure as the person I should be. Praying about that, praying like I mean it.