Thursday, November 8, 2012

I am a gum eater

Not my own pink gums that hold my teeth in my mouth, but the kind you buy. 

I chew gum until the flavor is gone and than I spit it out and get another piece.  I don't swallow it because one time when I was no more than 7 years old I heard that gum takes 10 years to come out of your digestive track, and well since I'm very sensative to when and how often I go number two, I don't want that to happen.

Double bubble is my gum of choice for sitting at home, watching tv, reading, whatever.  I even like the mixture of flavors when I have drank a beer while chewing, very interesting indeed

Chiclets, peppermint white flavor, is what I prefer at work.  The combination of chewing a new piece and drinknig water is very refreshing and does wonders for waking me up.

Right this moment it's Orbit..spearmint.  So far so good, but don't try it with diet Coke.

Monday, July 16, 2012

The one thing I don't have

Each day I try to remember to be happy and joyful in all my blessings, instead of thinking of the one thing that I don't have.

Today I am skating towards payday with less in our checking account than I'm comfortable with.  I'm being stubborn and won't transfer funds from savings. 

Reminding myself of all the things in my life that are lovely and joyful.

My family, home, loving pets, flowers, chickens that just gave me 5 eggs, the hummingbird I cannot seem to get a good picture of, my guitar, the kindle app, my health, Riddick's health.

Today my friends be joyful in all that you have, don't let the one thing you lack be the ruin of this day!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Films that remind me of my childhood

Star Wars, the first one, ofcourse.  It was very late May or June of 1977.  I remember that I had just had my birthday so it had to be after May 23.  I was five. 

We were all waiting in line at the SouthGate theater on 99E.  My parents, myself and my older brother.  I can't tell you if there were other children there that we knew, that we had brought with us, because there were people everywhere.  I can remember waiting in a long line behind the ropes made of stuffed fabric that attach to the little metal doo dads. 

Once we were finally seated I had the usual un controlled exceitiment waiting for the lights to dim.  That was the big signal.

The overwhelming feeling of awe and suruprise when the Battle cruiser being chased by fighters filled the screen from over my head.  Coming from behind me and flying right over, it was amazing.  I can still remember how scared I was in the first scene of viewing Darth Vadar. 

What movie do you remember?


Friday, June 15, 2012

Not impressed

Vinnie is not impressed with Sons of Anarchy.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I am officially a runner, or at least my toe is

I am so excited!  I am losing a toe nail.  It's disgusting.  Maybe tomorrow I'll post a pic, but today it's just too nasty and I'd make you vomit looking at the poor thing.

After I run my feet are stinky and smelly and generally in need of love.  I was just putting my flip flops on, but my dog ate my new flops and I haven't replaced them yet.

Yes hard to believe the famous Mrs. Maya eats shoes, but yes its her one fault.  That and her paws that smell like fritos. 

I found these shoes at DSW, and than ordered them off Amazon, where they were cheaper. 

Do you do that?  Find something in a store, try it on and than stand there with your iphone finding it cheaper elsewhere, that's me.  The 5.5 foot tall dork in the store searching for the cheapest price. 

Back to the shoes, they are Sanuks

I love them! 

These are called the "scribble".  You can buy them at Amazon, Sanuk.com, Nordstrom, DSW doesn't sell them online for women.  Please go get a pair and show your feet some love.

There is no sponsor to this blog, just me, Sanuk doesn't know me from Adam or Eve.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Words can hurt

That's as much as a statement as it is a self conviction.  I know that I say things sometimes that come out hurtful, even if it's not it my heart.

Today my feeler got broken.  That's Riddick's statement when feelings get hurt, "you feeler got broke", like an antennae on a caterpillar. 

"Yes but you are not a real mom".  The person that said it really didn't mean it the way in which she sounded.  I believe she didn't.  It was a reference to children getting older, and I commented that I understand. 

I am not a real Mom, a Mother.  I did not birth children nor adopt them.  I raised two step sons full time during my 17 year marriage from hell.  And did a good job. I hid from them the things their father was doing, and provided a loving place for them to call home.

Currently I'm a step mom to two wonderful kidlets.  Pinky and Ironman.  I never forget for a moment that I don't have kids of my own.  I regret it.  It's a painful topic for me, so I don't discuss it much.

But really there isn't any reason for me not to be denied as a mom, I sacrifice, put the kids' needs above my own.  I welcome their Mom into my life and home because that's what should be done.  I don't condemn their mom even when I'm angry. 

Being a step parent isn't easy, I wouldn't trade it for being a mother.  I would just like to be both.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Today I am 40!

Yes, this morning the face looking back at me in the mirror is 40 years old.  Those years have flown by. 

All the things I worried about day after day, year after year, most didn't happen, and even if they did, most were so small I can't remember.   The things I didn't worry about, that caught me by surprise, I survived, and thrived.

Let me see.  I am 40, I have stretch marks and back fat.  But I also have nice legs and I can run and bike and hike ans swim with the best of them.

I have a wonderful husband who wished me "happy birthday on your day of birth in your birthday week".  I am blessed and I know it.

At 40 years old my Mom was dying and knew it.  She knew she wouldn't reach 45.  I hope that she hoped for it, but all the doctors said she wouldn't.  She died less than a month from her 43rd birthday. 

Thinking about it right now as I type, I can't imagine right now, facing what she faced.  Her hair was gone, her face and whole body were bloated and puffy.  She couldn't choose the right words, because the tumor in her brain was crushing the part of her brain that speech originates.  Mom couldn't walk very far, and she was dizzy and weak. 

I am worldless, not helpful at all for a blog trying to describe what I feel right now.   I know that she was strong, and I know that because of her, I can face every day!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

In anticipation of my 40th birthday

These are just a few of the things I've learned...

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it.

If my dogs don't like you, there's a good reason.

Wearing the right size bra makes all the difference.

I'm not as secure as I appear, and neither are other people.

Keyless entry remotes are very helpful in finding your car in a parking lot..honk and look.

Red wine makes me sweat.

If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me, I'll do my best to keep you out of trouble.

I am my own worst critic and the only one that matters.

If you think about someone far more than they think about you, you need to re-think your thinking!

And my own personal motto....
Pray like you mean it, Love like you mean it, so you can live like you mean it.
Later,
J

Friday, April 27, 2012

Since when were we competing?

Women don't need to compete.  We really don't.  It doesn't matter who is the prettiest or thinnest in the room.  Because under neath it all we are all women.  We face the same insecurities, the same challenges, the same aches and pains and skin conditions. 

I'm not better than anyone else because I'm married.  I would be just as awesome if I was single. 

I'm not less than any other women because I wear a size 12 jeans and have short legs.  I would have the same body issues if I wore a 8 or 6, it's just a number, and my legs won't grow anymore!

How clean my house is, is only a reflection of how much time I have on my hands, not of my self worth.

The color of my hair and the presence or absence of gray plays to part of who I am. 

Straight or curly, it's all just hair.

Big boob, I got em, little boobs I want em, but it's all just my outside, it doesn't reflect my heart.  

There are enough people in the world that like to bring others down, I'm not going to be one of them!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I am not there, I did not die

Today my heart is heavy.  People I love are in pain.  They are facing something I have faced but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch it unfold.  Their pain is palpable.  I’m reminded of my parents, knowing what my friends will face in the near future.

I do not know why my parents are dead.  I do not know why my neighbor’s mother is dying as we speak from ALS.  

I do know that we all have a time that we leave this earth for the afterlife, when our souls leave the confines of our human shape.  I know that there is a God, because I see his hand in this Earth and our bodies, and feel him with me.

But what decides our time, and why that time is chosen, that’s my question and I think source of discomfort.  It’s too easy to say the good die young, I’m sure there are plenty of nasty people that die every day.  But to us, when we lose someone we love, and worse yet, watch them waste away and die, it only seems that the good die young.  We are deprived of their presence, at least bodily, for the rest of our lives.  I believe those you love are with you long after they move beyond.  But we can’t call them, or share birthdays and holidays with them.  We can’t hug them.

When I get to heaven I hope that my heart will be put at ease.  I hope that I will understand why my parents are gone, and why Becky is gone.  And if I don’t attain the understanding than I hope that I am put at peace in another way.  I believe that we will reunite with our loved ones.  Maybe not in earthly bodies on a cloud with wings, but on some level we will feel their soul with ours.
In the meantime this brings me solace.

Dedicated to Becky F., RIP sweet lady
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Things that bug the holy crap out of me...today

1.  People saying "mosh gosh" to express that they will be doing something soon.

2.  The mis-use of "their", "there" or "they're"

3.  Men that tuck their shirts into their underwear, so you see their undie band above their pant waist

4.  The words "mosh gosh" uttered in any context

5.  That pain in the ass Jeep Wrangler at 4:35 this morning that felt the need to drive in the snowy inside lane and vomited wet snow and gravel all over the other two lanes


Monday, January 30, 2012

So not a Ree bot

I finally watched "The Pioneer Woman" on the Food network. Loved it. Yes I said loved it.

Ree looked normal on TV. Not overly made up. Not covergirl perfect. Her husband, her kids, they all look like I would expect people to look walking down a street.

Ree has back fat, so do I, so do most women. She wears flowy shirts, I do not. I've got a D cup and the flowy thing doesn't work for me. I don't collect china, but I collect bells..

Yes she and her husband remodled their lodge. Much like millions of people do every year, remodle their properties. When you are multi generational land owners you probably don't have mortgages. So they invested in their own properties. I don't care if it was done with the idea of making it a studio. That's even better, I wouldn't want cameras in my own home, maybe they don't either.

My intuition tells me that at some time Ree felt isolated, raising four kids, even with money, in the boonies can do that. So she reached out. She expressed herself online and fine tuned it as she went along.

I've read all the negative comments and websites. Pioneerwomansux.com...yes I know all about it. The Drummonds make money off of ranching, caring for Mustangs and from Government subsidies. Yup thats true. Let me give you a hint. That's what making your living off of land and agriculture is about. Don't fool yourself into thinking that those folks that are eligible for it aren't taking it.

Yes, Ree makes millions of dollars a year from her blog, advertisers, books, movie deals, TV shows..yup, good for her. You know what that means? She took a chance. She put herself out there on a blog and hit a nerve. She created a brand. How is that so different from Paula Dean or Rachel Ray? It's not, she's just managed to get some haters along the way. It's too bad actually. Because what she has done is show that anyone can write a book. Anyone! If by chance my blog every manages to get someones attention and a following I would work on it for all I'm worth. But it hasn't, so what, I should become a bitch and attack someone who is successful.

Ree isn't out there spreading gossip about celebrities, she isn't spewing her polictical agenda. She is cooking and taking pictures. Lets see, her recipes, yes many are recycled. I do it too! I read recipes from books, the internet, my mom's old collections and I create my own spin on them. That's what creativity in the kitchen is about.

Pienear woman..well it's just fascinating that another human being puts that much effort and talent into disparaging another person for financial gain. Yes Pie Near makes money too...or did you think she did it for personal growth.

Ree's blog introduced me to Miz Booshay (booshay.blogspot.com). She is an amazing photographer that shares her knowledge and her loving perspective on the world. I'm not a homeschooler so I don't read that tab. But leave the homeschoolers alone too. They are doing their own thing on their own time and that is part of being free.

I will continue to read Ree's blog. And when I get a chance I will watch her show. And if you don't like it, well that's your right too, but please don't try and make her out to be a villian for being successful. Find your own niche. Or better yet, be quiet about it and focus your judging eye inward.

None of us would pass the magnifying glass.

Cheers, off to watch "The black swan" nothing like a ballerina on the edge.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Snippet

Bacon life, or better yet life with a Bacon..did I ever tell you that men love my last name. Not so much women. There's just something about the name that reminds them of salty meaty goodness that makes them comment..but back to our program. This is Riddick and I last night: Bacongal: "honey why is there a knife and salt shaker on the table by your recliner" Riddick: "I was attached by slugs" Ok, we live in the NW, which does have slugs, but not when it's 27 degrees outside. The true story. He was eating potato salad (salt) and adding some of my home made pickles (knife) in his recliner.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Out of his head

Oh know Mr. Gingerman's head melted off. Good thing the wick wasn't on the other end.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I'm calling a fashion bullshit!

I'm not short. I'm not tall either. I'm exactly the right height for me. That height is 65 inches, just shy of 5.5 feet tall. My dear friend Carlsinna is tall, thin, willowy, all those things. We compare ourselves to our dogs. Her dog Gretchen, is skinny, mine, Mrs. Maya is "ahem" curvy. aka...curvy bitch and skinny bitch She and I have discussed in the past our various complaints with fashion. Her's with jeans being too stretchy and too short, mine, well I don't like the stretchy thing either, but jeans are too long for me. And petite sizes are way low rise or old lady. My complaint that I'm focused on today is activewear. When I complain about running tights and shirts being way long in the leg, arm and torso..Carlsinna points out that natural runners are built like her, long and lean. Whatever, I run, just not really fast, but I can grind through the miles. But I grudgingly accept her explanation because it's logical. But yoga pants...oh hell no! Yoga originated in areas of Asia. Think for a second..."areas of Asia". Like India! Now let me be frank, and don't get all offended. But homo sapiens native to that region are of smaller stature. Shorter! You know, the type like me that don't need 32 freaking inches of fabric on our yoga pants. So where is the logic in that!