Today I am 39 years old. I'm proud of that. I'm 39 and I still have all my teeth, who would have thunk after all that bubble gum I've chewed.
Riddick and Mama gave me a beautiful party yesterday. I have some pics of it that I'll post later. Python and Sido were there, as well as HipChick and Lineman. Graybelle and even more friends.
Life has a funny way of swinging around on you. People who are in my life now, daily, sharing their lives, loves, sorrows and joys with me, aren't those that I thought would be here 2 years ago. Some I didn't even know, others I had mis-judged, or maybe didn't trust.
I don't have any big words of wisdom right now. I'm more in a place of reflection and contemplation. Today truly is the first day of the rest of your life.
I'm nearing my 39th birthday. It's in about a week. May 23.
No, for pete's sake I'm no lying about my age, I really am turning 39 for the first and only time. If I was going to lie about my age I would probably tell everybody I was 40 just so they would shut up about it.
Getting older doesn't bother me, yet. Check back when I'm turning 60 and I may have a different story.
I am still able to do the things that I love. And for reasons I do not know I still get asked for ID when I buy beer....really.
My face may look younger than 39 but it sure as hay does not look anywhere near 21.
Two years ago when my first marriage came crashing down, two days before my birthday, on May 21, a friend of mine deemed that birthday as my "re-birthday". I like that. It's a beautiful thing to behold. A re-birth.
I jotted some ideas down for Riddick, ideas for birthday gifts for ME!
It's a very basic list, here it comes.
~Anti-gravity lawn chair
~Epiphone Limited Edition Hummingbird Artist Acoustic Guitar
~Wrist and knee pads for my rollerblading
~running socks, cushioned toe, not super low profile
Anti-gravity lawn chair, really do I need to explain this? I want to be comfy in my yard or on a camping trip.
Oh my gosh, the guitar is a thing to behold. I love and appreciate my Dad's guitar that I've been strumming on, but I want one of my own, and the slim line neck is wonderful for my short stubby fingers.
Wrist and knee pads, trust me they are needed, I am the one who nearly severed a tendon in my leg with an axe when I hit a toilet
Socks, my toes hurt sometimes after a run, like they do after a day in scuba flippers. And not super low profile because if my socks start to slip down my heel and want to harm myself and others.
Whether it be jealousy of why I don't have a perfect body no matter how hard I work, or because Pioneer woman has thousands of daily readers, or because I can't play the guitar the way I want to yet.
The green eyed monster of jealousy is vicious. Really, it's up there with gossip and deceit as something that can destroy relationships and your spirit.
You ever feel like painful memories and insecurities are just like claws trying to drag you into a pit and keep you there, no matter how hard you try and break their grasp?
I do sometimes.
I think most women do, if they are honest.
A peer in high school said something to me one day that made me cry for days off and on. She said that I could never understand something because I "was perfect". I can even hear her tone of voice in my head right now. It wasn't a compliment; it was a comment to set me apart from everyone else.
All that she saw was my coordinated outfits from "The Limited&quo…
I had never had a pedicure until last year, when Mama took me to get one.
No I'm no dirt poor and un-aware that people get pedicures. I had had manicures, but never the feet.
I'm not specifically sure why. I've never had a bikini wax either but I'll be sure to let you know if I do.
So back to my toes.
I have ugly toes. Not hammer toes, not grotesque ballernia toes, sorry to all the swans out there, but really your feet look nasty. You may have tiny little butts and tight thighs but your feet, oh they are nasty.
Genetically speaking I am pre-disposed to in-grown toenails. I would get them so often that soaking in Epsom salts became a weekly habit. Once in a while a icky infection would present and I'd have to become best freinds with hydrogen peroxide and triple antibiotic.
About 15 years ago I had this lovely procedure done. The official name is lateral matriectomy. It's the surgical removal and deadening of the nail bed.
For me it's a bitter sweet day. Bitter because it's a huge reminder of the two most painful details of my life: that I'm not a mother and that my Mom is gone.
It's a sweet day because of all the beautiful women in my life who are Mothers. Some have been like a mother to me, some are my friends that have children of their own, and some like Sido are my family.
I will celebrate tomorrow for those of you that are mothers and for the memory of my Mom.
I would prefer my life to be different, to have my mom here now. I wasn't ready for her to go and she was not ready to go. Life is short and fleeting and fragile. Love your family. Love them like crazy, love like there isn't a tomorrow, because there isn't a tomorrow for everyone. Today is all we have.
Our laundry room is also the kitchen pantry. Washer and Dryer under a set of cabinets on one side, and the other is my big old pantry. Graybelle calls it "heaven" because it's always full.
Yes I am a problem shopper, I am very frugal and careful in my purchases but I still manage to always have a crammed full pantry.
I was in the pantry (that's what I call it if it's food involved, if I'm doing laundry I call the same place the laundry room) putting cans of olives and water chestnuts in the nearest empty drawer. But every time I shut one drawer my snap-ware container of Craisins would come crashing down onto my head, by the second time it hit me I yelled, "dammit". No! it did not occur to me to move the freaking container to a different place, I can win over gravity.
Duh dunt da da..Riddick comes running to the rescue. He was in the garage working on his batbike when he heard me yell.
I should mention that the Laundry room/Pantry is between…
It really does.
I hate being in debt. I hate that fact that it's left over from my previous marriage, and it feels like the fee I had to pay for getting rid of a rotten cheating whore monger of a husband.
What's worse is that so many people really to not comprehend how dangerous debt is and how dedicated I am to never having any of it again.
I shop at goodwill, I will drive my car until it's so dead that Riddick can't resurrect it. But I work with people who just buy and buy and buy.
It's rough to have that comparison of lifestyles. Hard to look at my own and not feel cheated.
But remembering and telling myself that my reward isn't here on earth, it's in heavan. That and the best revenge is to be happy.
Is a bit odd. On all the new's outlets all I read about is the death of Bin Laden.
Yes, I'm glad he's dead. Frank but honest.
I do wish there was a picture or some visual proof published, if only to shut up those who are voicing doubts. These same lamebrains probably don't believe astronauts ever landed on the moon either. Halfwits!
No I don't think he is enjoying 10,000 virgins or whatever it is he believed.
I hope he is remembered as a evil person who murdered thousands. Muslims, Christians, Pagans, all alike, with no remorse.
I hope he is not remembered as a Muslim, who killed Christians.