Skip to main content

Ever been invaded by the green monster?

I have been.

Whether it be jealousy of why I don't have a perfect body no matter how hard I work, or because Pioneer woman has thousands of daily readers, or because I can't play the guitar the way I want to yet.

The green eyed monster of jealousy is vicious. Really, it's up there with gossip and deceit as something that can destroy relationships and your spirit.

You ever feel like painful memories and insecurities are just like claws trying to drag you into a pit and keep you there, no matter how hard you try and break their grasp?
I do sometimes.

I think most women do, if they are honest.

A peer in high school said something to me one day that made me cry for days off and on. She said that I could never understand something because I "was perfect". I can even hear her tone of voice in my head right now. It wasn't a compliment; it was a comment to set me apart from everyone else.

All that she saw was my coordinated outfits from "The Limited", little white Toyota Celica I drove to and fro, good grades, lots of friends, just my appearance.

I didn't see any of those things. I wasn't the homecoming queen or even a princess. But that's not what she saw.

She also didn't see my Mom at home in the living room, dying in the hospital bed. She didn't see the brother that took his anger out on me and belittled me and cut me down.

So many times and in so many ways we all waste time and energy on feeling jealous or resentful to other people when we can only see what's on the outside, not what's going on inside of all of us.

Just so you know, if you ever see me in public, at the grocery store, or at the gym, or running in the shorts that are comfortable to run in but that I feel self conscious of my thighs in. Remember this...

~the thoughts in my head are pinging back and forth like a tennis ball

~I'm fully convinced Riddick is a liar when he tells me I'm beautiful

~What you see on the outside is so rarely what is real on the inside

Today and everyday I pray that I remember those things about everybody else. As women we should be loving one another, lifting and building eachother up, not tearing anybody elese down.

I say stupid things sometimes, or I write them, I'm a goober and I mess up all the time, but I'll keep trying to be the person I should be.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

In anticipation of my 40th birthday

These are just a few of the things I've learned... Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it. If my dogs don't like you, there's a good reason. Wearing the right size bra makes all the difference. I'm not as secure as I appear, and neither are other people. Keyless entry remotes are very helpful in finding your car in a parking lot..honk and look. Red wine makes me sweat. If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me, I'll do my best to keep you out of trouble. I am my own worst critic and the only one that matters. If you think about someone far more than they think about you, you need to re-think your thinking! And my own personal motto.... Pray like you mean it, Love like you mean it, so you can live like you mean it. Later, J

The Rats Exposed!

I yelled that once. Not really yelled, more like exclaimed it loudly and with panic. Panic caused by the fear of projectile vomit coming out all over me and everyone else at the table. I was on Roatan, with two friends, Missy and Prissy. We had been "dolphin trainers for a day" and had chosen to buy the cheap lunch with the locals. We were told they had only two plates of fish left and than the conejo. Conejo is spanish for "rabbit". So I made the sacrifce and let the twins have the fish. It's not my favorite meat, but I figured what the heck..when in rome... All was good until the american dolphin trainer walked by and was kind enough to tell me that "conejo" wasn't the "rabbit" I was thinking of. She said the magic word.."Watusa" Abruptly a plate with rice and fried plantain appear with a dark sweet smelling meat...Watusa. That's when the yelling came in and the controlled gag reflex fyi....Watusa is a damm rodent,

Protein Brownies Review

First of all I am not trying or wanting to be a blogger that is touting their idealistic lifestyle nor do I want to be an influencer.  I am just a person who likes to blog and share a small glimpse of my imperfect life.   I am saying all of that because I am posting unedited pictures of my cooking.  Most of my pictures are un-edited.  I crop to keep certain details out of pictures.  Like I cropped a couple of these photos so you cannot see the chipped countertop on the edge of my stove.  Come to think of it I shouldn't have cropped that.  I cannot be the only person who has a chipped countertop.  Oh well Onward! I did some online shopping at Target.  I miss Target.  I mean I really really miss Target, it is one of my very favorite stores.  When we are not in a pandemic I love that I can order online and walk in a pick it up.  It keeps me from experiencing the bloated cart that comes from cruising Target aisles. I wanted some baked goods but I did not want to waddle after the