Monday, November 4, 2013

Frenemy perhaps

My parents had a next door neighbor when I was in high school.  Her name was , lets call her Chris.  I'm sure I bugged the hell out of her.  She had no children of her own and I saw her as a cool chick who I wanted to emulate.  As I've gotten older I have a similar relationship with some girls that could be my daughter age wise, and remind myself how delicate their little egos and persons are.

Chris helped me in many ways.  She helped me cope with my mom's illness and death, she taught me new ideas and gave me a safe haven.  After her divorce, my mom's death, and my marriage we continued to stay in each other's lives.

What ended it all was a long New Years Eve of drinking in the mid 90's.  She came over to my home.  It was just her and I and Tim.  She brought her own bottle of rum and daiquiri mix, I was drinking rum and coke with Tim.  We basically got smashed.  And with each drink refill Tim and her became more and more chummy.  I remember at one point crying in my bathroom because I had no idea how to handle any of it.

The last few details I remember is Tim taking her keys, because, well he was a cop and cops don't want people to drink and drive..... and seeing her and Tim on the floor in front of the TV kissing.

I woke up early the next morning to the phone ringing.  A call from a co-worker of Tim's.  Chris had been in a head on collision after leaving our home.

Turns out she had a separate set of keys.  She hit a man head on.  Thankfully they both eventually recovered.
I never spoke directly with Chris again.  I spoke to her through her family, at first being told she was too injured to talk.  I spoke with her attorney when he called to ask questions, but I didn't hear from her for a year.

It was confusing to me.  Of course I thought it was my fault, that I had done something wrong.  I asked Tim if he knew anything, and he said no of course.

Than I got a call at work from her out of the blue to tell me the lawsuit that I didn't know about had been settled.  She asked to meet me.

Chris had been communicating with Tim.  She had called and met with him at the police department to talk about what had happened that night.  She wanted to talk to me but he threatened her not to.

I figured out they had done more than kiss, and she didn't know how to deal with it, and he didn't want to be caught.

I've been mulling this post around for some time.  Initially I thought of Chris as my first frenemy but as I drafted all that happened I realized maybe I was mis-using the word.  She did know what to do.  How could she?  She loved me and didn't like what had happened.  Knowing Tim would never take any responsibility she knew she was on her own in trying to convince me.  I wish now, that she had . I was only 20 at the time, she was 39, he was 40, of all involved I was the most naive and frankly needed her honesty.  What I didn't need was for her to shut me out because of her own shame.  But looking back now, I don't know if I would have had the courage had the roles been reversed.

I haven't seen her in many many years.  I know she finally re-married, and I hope she found some peace.  I found peace too.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Ahh November, lets all be thanfkful

Today, November 1st, I am grateful for opposable thumbs.

Lets be honest without opposable thumbs we humans would be screwed.  We share opposable digits with other primates as well as the Giant Panda and some other animals.  But by far we have done more with our opposable thumbs than the monkeys and the pandas have.

Because of this wonderful anatomical digital detail I can put my thumb in my nose, your nose, the dogs eye and probably my own butt, but I have never put my thumb in anybody's butt.  Just a little information for future reference....bacongal is not butt thumber!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Peanut Butter bastard

Last week I received a out of the blue yet welcome email from Prissy, stating she would be in town for Missy's Phd defense and would love to get together.  She, now living in a land locked state that I won't name, except it's popular with Mormons, decided we would meet in Newport.

Riddick and I had limited time, like as in 30 hours...but we were excited for the time we had with her.
We all walked and talked, met her new love...all was good.  On our way home I wanted to get some peanut butter taffy, because I love peanut butter taffy.

Now, 27 pieces of taffy later, I can't poop to save my life.  I feel like I have a taffy demon lodged in my bum and oh it's not fun.

I will not post pics, but send me some cleansing thoughts so I can release the demon

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Now I am a Miner's wife

Riddick is off, off to gold mine this summer in southern Oregon.  I'll be visiting him when my schedule permits.  This has been a dream of his since we were dating, to go back to gold dredging for a season.

Riddick spent 4 months in 2008 dredging on the Klamath river, this time he's on the Rogue.  His time is limited I'm afraid.  Limited because of environmental laws and limited by  his own health and abilities.

I'm not crazy about being alone for weeks at a time, two week intervals to be exact, however small that seems, it's tough.  At least this time my husband isn't going to Central America to bonk his whore, at least this time my husband is actually working and missing me.

To be completely honest, completely, like way toooo honest, I love to put little slams on this blog, as I know he and she read it, and both of them are spineless and don't comment.  You know if someone implied that I was a whore, Riddick would comment lol oh I am funny

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Honesty..give it, get it, shut up about it

We all are taught, or at least I hope everyone was, to tell the truth.  It's a great time saver.  As someone who is very busy I don't have time or tolerance for bullshit.  So I tell the truth, and I appreciate it when people do the same to me, in fact I appreciate it so much that I tend to cut liars out of my life completely and they end of standing around wondering what the hell happened..."where did Janice go"


Monday, March 18, 2013

We love the same people

But that doesn't make us friends.  My open hearted kindness often leads folks that don't know me too well to think that perhaps I'm weak or easily controlled.

That is a huge error in judge ment.    One of my personal ethics is to do my best to go through this beautiful life doing the best that I can and causing as little pain as possible.  That doesn't mean I'm just a smile and silence and a source for money. 

I have feelings, opinions, flaws, fears, oddities just like anybody else.  It's painful to realize in the course of everyday life that there are people that you share loved ones with, that should be, but will never be your friends.  In fact they are a bigger source of discomfort for the simple reason that they do love some of the same people and therefore have access to your heart.

So all I can do, is all I can do, which is continue to do my best to love like I mean it, live like I mean it, and pray like I mean it, for my own guidance and for blessing all that pass before me.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

All that I am

I am smart, funny, insecure, loyal, short, groovy, irritating, spoiled, employed, kind, logical, cheap, focused, distracted, difficult, easy going, insightful, forgiving, honest.

I am not mean, deceitful, vengeful, skinny, secure, shaken, hated, envied, errant.

The first list makes me sound like a Labrador Retriever, actually the second list does too.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Just too short.....

Life is just too damm short to wear uncomfortable shoes that leave my hoofs looking like this
So I tossed those shoes in the garbage and moved on with life!