Skip to main content

Frenemy perhaps

My parents had a next door neighbor when I was in high school.  Her name was , lets call her Chris.  I'm sure I bugged the hell out of her.  She had no children of her own and I saw her as a cool chick who I wanted to emulate.  As I've gotten older I have a similar relationship with some girls that could be my daughter age wise, and remind myself how delicate their little egos and persons are.

Chris helped me in many ways.  She helped me cope with my mom's illness and death, she taught me new ideas and gave me a safe haven.  After her divorce, my mom's death, and my marriage we continued to stay in each other's lives.

What ended it all was a long New Years Eve of drinking in the mid 90's.  She came over to my home.  It was just her and I and Tim.  She brought her own bottle of rum and daiquiri mix, I was drinking rum and coke with Tim.  We basically got smashed.  And with each drink refill Tim and her became more and more chummy.  I remember at one point crying in my bathroom because I had no idea how to handle any of it.

The last few details I remember is Tim taking her keys, because, well he was a cop and cops don't want people to drink and drive..... and seeing her and Tim on the floor in front of the TV kissing.

I woke up early the next morning to the phone ringing.  A call from a co-worker of Tim's.  Chris had been in a head on collision after leaving our home.

Turns out she had a separate set of keys.  She hit a man head on.  Thankfully they both eventually recovered.
I never spoke directly with Chris again.  I spoke to her through her family, at first being told she was too injured to talk.  I spoke with her attorney when he called to ask questions, but I didn't hear from her for a year.

It was confusing to me.  Of course I thought it was my fault, that I had done something wrong.  I asked Tim if he knew anything, and he said no of course.

Than I got a call at work from her out of the blue to tell me the lawsuit that I didn't know about had been settled.  She asked to meet me.

Chris had been communicating with Tim.  She had called and met with him at the police department to talk about what had happened that night.  She wanted to talk to me but he threatened her not to.

I figured out they had done more than kiss, and she didn't know how to deal with it, and he didn't want to be caught.

I've been mulling this post around for some time.  Initially I thought of Chris as my first frenemy but as I drafted all that happened I realized maybe I was mis-using the word.  She did know what to do.  How could she?  She loved me and didn't like what had happened.  Knowing Tim would never take any responsibility she knew she was on her own in trying to convince me.  I wish now, that she had . I was only 20 at the time, she was 39, he was 40, of all involved I was the most naive and frankly needed her honesty.  What I didn't need was for her to shut me out because of her own shame.  But looking back now, I don't know if I would have had the courage had the roles been reversed.

I haven't seen her in many many years.  I know she finally re-married, and I hope she found some peace.  I found peace too.


Popular posts from this blog

The Rats Exposed!

I yelled that once. Not really yelled, more like exclaimed it loudly and with panic. Panic caused by the fear of projectile vomit coming out all over me and everyone else at the table. I was on Roatan, with two friends, Missy and Prissy. We had been "dolphin trainers for a day" and had chosen to buy the cheap lunch with the locals. We were told they had only two plates of fish left and than the conejo. Conejo is spanish for "rabbit". So I made the sacrifce and let the twins have the fish. It's not my favorite meat, but I figured what the heck..when in rome... All was good until the american dolphin trainer walked by and was kind enough to tell me that "conejo" wasn't the "rabbit" I was thinking of. She said the magic word.."Watusa" Abruptly a plate with rice and fried plantain appear with a dark sweet smelling meat...Watusa. That's when the yelling came in and the controlled gag reflex fyi....Watusa is a damm r

I miss my mom!

I can't express to anyone why the ache of missing my Mom comes and goes at is does.  Perhaps it's because I am approaching the anniversary of her death, September 28, 1988.  But beyond that, right now, this moment, I am aching for my Mom. I had such jealousy of my friends who passed by the bullshit of teen years and got to know their Mom's as fellow adults.  Cohorts that supported each other.  In reality of my three closes friends none of them have had that much extra time with their Mom's.  Missy and Prissy lost their mom to cancer not long after I did.  Graybelle has lost her mom to the absence of other distractions.  But still I ache. I want to know what my Mom's favorite color was.  I want to know what she wanted to be when she grew up.  I want to know how she felt about gay marriage.  My gut tells me she wouldn't have given a fig, which is how I feel. But mostly I want the warm embrace.  The hug she gave me when I started my period at Burgerville.  I

Protein Brownies Review

First of all I am not trying or wanting to be a blogger that is touting their idealistic lifestyle nor do I want to be an influencer.  I am just a person who likes to blog and share a small glimpse of my imperfect life.   I am saying all of that because I am posting unedited pictures of my cooking.  Most of my pictures are un-edited.  I crop to keep certain details out of pictures.  Like I cropped a couple of these photos so you cannot see the chipped countertop on the edge of my stove.  Come to think of it I shouldn't have cropped that.  I cannot be the only person who has a chipped countertop.  Oh well Onward! I did some online shopping at Target.  I miss Target.  I mean I really really miss Target, it is one of my very favorite stores.  When we are not in a pandemic I love that I can order online and walk in a pick it up.  It keeps me from experiencing the bloated cart that comes from cruising Target aisles. I wanted some baked goods but I did not want to waddle after the