Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Today I am 40!

Yes, this morning the face looking back at me in the mirror is 40 years old.  Those years have flown by. 

All the things I worried about day after day, year after year, most didn't happen, and even if they did, most were so small I can't remember.   The things I didn't worry about, that caught me by surprise, I survived, and thrived.

Let me see.  I am 40, I have stretch marks and back fat.  But I also have nice legs and I can run and bike and hike ans swim with the best of them.

I have a wonderful husband who wished me "happy birthday on your day of birth in your birthday week".  I am blessed and I know it.

At 40 years old my Mom was dying and knew it.  She knew she wouldn't reach 45.  I hope that she hoped for it, but all the doctors said she wouldn't.  She died less than a month from her 43rd birthday. 

Thinking about it right now as I type, I can't imagine right now, facing what she faced.  Her hair was gone, her face and whole body were bloated and puffy.  She couldn't choose the right words, because the tumor in her brain was crushing the part of her brain that speech originates.  Mom couldn't walk very far, and she was dizzy and weak. 

I am worldless, not helpful at all for a blog trying to describe what I feel right now.   I know that she was strong, and I know that because of her, I can face every day!

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