Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Words can hurt

That's as much as a statement as it is a self conviction.  I know that I say things sometimes that come out hurtful, even if it's not it my heart.

Today my feeler got broken.  That's Riddick's statement when feelings get hurt, "you feeler got broke", like an antennae on a caterpillar. 

"Yes but you are not a real mom".  The person that said it really didn't mean it the way in which she sounded.  I believe she didn't.  It was a reference to children getting older, and I commented that I understand. 

I am not a real Mom, a Mother.  I did not birth children nor adopt them.  I raised two step sons full time during my 17 year marriage from hell.  And did a good job. I hid from them the things their father was doing, and provided a loving place for them to call home.

Currently I'm a step mom to two wonderful kidlets.  Pinky and Ironman.  I never forget for a moment that I don't have kids of my own.  I regret it.  It's a painful topic for me, so I don't discuss it much.

But really there isn't any reason for me not to be denied as a mom, I sacrifice, put the kids' needs above my own.  I welcome their Mom into my life and home because that's what should be done.  I don't condemn their mom even when I'm angry. 

Being a step parent isn't easy, I wouldn't trade it for being a mother.  I would just like to be both.

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