Thursday, February 10, 2011

Nothing I have ever wanted to hear

I spent some time yesterday with a very close friend, someone who is more like my family. She's in pain. Her marriage is not going well and the pain in her voice and on her face is so apparent.

I sat and listened to her, just taking in what she had to say, and it was as if someone was describing my first marriage, but it was all coming out of her mouth. The deception, loneliness, frustration and feeling of utter confusion as to what to do when the person you are married to changes into someone that you don't know, and frankly, don't want to know.

It makes me all the more grateful for Riddick. Last night was very hard on me, I was in a odd place, living my life now, but thinking of my life than. And I hate those times. It leaves me exhausted and with a night of bad dreams.

Sometimes I do wish we could wipe our minds of all the bad memories. Those memories and experiences do make us the people we are now, but the person I am now is not as brave or secure as the person I should be. Praying about that, praying like I mean it.

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