Two years ago today, I met my husband face to face. We had “met” online via E-harmony and been emailing and met for breakfast on the 4th of July, after one of my night shifts. The first meeting was funny, but that’s not the point of my note today.
In reflection of what has happened in my life over the past two years the short description of it is a total transformation. Let those words sink in, total transformation. People that knew me than, see the difference.
I was enduring a horrible marriage that I was settling for and it had left me broken. My Dad told me a long time ago that if someone knocks you down all you have to do is stand back up. Well, I didn’t think I could stand up. My parents were gone, and even though I had friends that loved me, it was all I could do to get out of bed in the morning.
None of us never really knows what’s going on in anybody else’s marriage. We only see the reactions of the spouses not the underlying issues. If you think that you know what’s wrong or right in anybody’s marriage but your own, you are a fool and you have no right to judge. People saw my un-happiness and bitterness but didn’t think to question why. And I was protective of my own life and his to not tell everyone what was happening. That’s my mistake and I will never make it again. Don’t hide behind your pride!
Meeting Riddick changed my life. But it changed because I let it change. It’s hard work letting go of pain. And some days it’s more difficult than others, like getting too close to a curb on y our bike, the fear in your gut that you may just bite the pavement. That’s what the past is like for me when I think of it. So I have worked hard to get rid of it. Do not let someone else’s sin, even your spouse’s define you or control what your life is.
You never know what life has in store for you. Never, never give up on life or love, or yourself. I truly believed with all my being that I would be alone for the rest of my life. That nobody would want me and my scars. Life would just be me and Mrs. Maya dog, tripping through life. But instead Maya and I hit the jackpot. Now our life is filled with Riddick, and Pinkie, Ironman, Mama, Papa, Python, Sido, Hipchick, Linebacker, Leann, Dan, Sam and Paislie.
Today and every day I know that I am loved, accepted and honored for who I am, all that I am, bad and good. And I love and accept and honor. That is a gift I wish everyone had. I want that for the kids when they grow up, and I want it for every one of you that may be hurting or not where you want to be in life.
It’s our Independence day, and it’s mine too.