Embrace the Bacongal, and what ever I'm itching to say !

I was a tomboy growing up. Loved playing outside, loved getting dirty, loved following my older brother around and whining and crying until he included me, or chased me away. Barbies were fun, but I had the Barbie Catamaran and RV, as well as taking them on expeditions to my various forts. But for whatever reason, I became, how should I say this, girly! Girly later in my childhood, probably 9 or 10. And inexplicably started carrying around my large antique bald doll named Diane. Diane was bald, I didn't make her bald, someone else did, before I owned her. So my mom put a baby bonnet on her and called it good. I wasn't embarrassed that I brought my doll with me at an age when most girls have stopped, but I'm not sure why it happened either. Most of my childhood I can remember always wanting and waiting to be older. In a hurry to be 8, in a big hurry to be 10, and quite excited when it became 1980 instead of 1979. So why I started to play with dolls instead is beyon...

Anniversaries of my parents deaths are just too hard for me. I don't try and mark them, they sneak up on me like a painful joint. If I ignore them, than they take me by surprise, like a cough when you are trying not to cough. Yesterday, the 28th of September was the 22nd anniversary of my mom dying of brain cancer. And I miss her. I think I miss her more this year than last because my life now is happier, calmer, more centered. I have time to think about her, instead of the horrible swirly messy ride I was on for years. I know something. I know that if my mom had lived I never would have married Tim. I wouldn't have been that 18yr old traumatized that fell under the spell of a 38 yr old man, and I wouldn't have lost myself in the years of abuse. It's not her fault. But I know my life would be different now. So as I said, I took yesterday off.

My mom thought that she would beat the cancer. She thought that I believe until she go so ill that she couldn't think. This picture was taken March of 1987, she died September 28th of 1988. I know that she believed she was cured the summer of 1988. She had beat it. The cancer was gone. I remember June of 1988 I was in a student leadership conference and she helped me plan what I would do for my project. Mom got really sick in July. Crying out in pain the beginning of September. The end was actually very quick. Quick for us, but for her I'm sure it wasn't so quick for her. I do not know why she had to die. It's one of the questions I would like to ask Jesus. But I know that she was brave. I know that she was stong. And I know that my life is different because she is gone.

Chips and salsa would be their own food group. Typed as I am still enjoying the last bit of the lip sizzling tomatillo salsa. No person with butt or thigh dimples can ever wear white pants of any kind, I do not care what your profession is, no way hosay. If you cannot park you SS Enterprise sized SUV correctly you forfeit it. I should have a complete collection by the end of the day. All fortunes obtained from fortune cookies have to ad the words "In bed" after each line. You wouldn't be allowed a credit card without a note from your mother...regardless of your age And lastly for today, if you are on foodstamps you don't get junk food!

This was my family, before I was even born. It wasn't until after the death of both my parents that I realized fully that my parents had whole and complete lives long before my brother and I joined their lives. It's an odd thought, but I think if you asked most kids, they wouldn't really know what their parents lives were like before they were born. I only have a glimpse because after my Dad's death I went through all his records for over 30 years. Each year he would rubberband a big folder of receipts and letters and doctors notes all together and put them away. It's like a gift now, to be able to read them and see what they did, and how little they had monetarily, but how much they had together.

What are things you remember kids saying when you were young? I can remember lots. Don't spray it say it, said after someone spit all over you trying to tell you something, I'm sometimes accused of doing the same thing now, by Riddick, but he's a big fat liar... Big Fat Liar...what you call someone who either lied, or just said something you didn't like. Fatty Fatty two by four, couldn't get through the kitchen door...We used to sing it about kids..horrible but true. I was a chunk so I have no idea why I would go along with it, peer pressure, it sucks. What a Tard! Horrible mis-use of the work Retard, used to describe my brother, maybe accurate ;-)

Tarjeta: Target, the most wonderful store on the planet. Fluff: what some of you call "farting", when I do it, it's a "fluff", when Riddick does it, you need to leave Elephant: Honda Element The Ladies: Our hens Cloud factory: paper mill