I took yesterday off.

Anniversaries of my parents deaths are just too hard for me. I don't try and mark them, they sneak up on me like a painful joint. If I ignore them, than they take me by surprise, like a cough when you are trying not to cough.

Yesterday, the 28th of September was the 22nd anniversary of my mom dying of brain cancer. And I miss her. I think I miss her more this year than last because my life now is happier, calmer, more centered. I have time to think about her, instead of the horrible swirly messy ride I was on for years.

I know something. I know that if my mom had lived I never would have married Tim. I wouldn't have been that 18yr old traumatized that fell under the spell of a 38 yr old man, and I wouldn't have lost myself in the years of abuse. It's not her fault. But I know my life would be different now.

So as I said, I took yesterday off.

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Protein Brownies Review

First of all I am not trying or wanting to be a blogger that is touting their idealistic lifestyle nor do I want to be an influencer. I am just a person who likes to blog and share a small glimpse of my imperfect life. I am saying all of that because I am posting unedited pictures of my cooking. Most of my pictures are un-edited. I crop to keep certain details out of pictures. Like I cropped a couple of these photos so you cannot see the chipped countertop on the edge of my stove. Come to think of it I shouldn't have cropped that. I cannot be the only person who has a chipped countertop. Oh well Onward! I did some online shopping at Target. I miss Target. I mean I really really miss Target, it is one of my very favorite stores. When we are not in a pandemic I love that I can order online and walk in a pick it up. It keeps me from experiencing the bloated cart that comes from cruising Target aisles. I wanted some baked goods but I did not want to waddle after the

In anticipation of my 40th birthday

These are just a few of the things I've learned... Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do it. If my dogs don't like you, there's a good reason. Wearing the right size bra makes all the difference. I'm not as secure as I appear, and neither are other people. Keyless entry remotes are very helpful in finding your car in a parking lot..honk and look. Red wine makes me sweat. If you can't say anything nice, come sit by me, I'll do my best to keep you out of trouble. I am my own worst critic and the only one that matters. If you think about someone far more than they think about you, you need to re-think your thinking! And my own personal motto.... Pray like you mean it, Love like you mean it, so you can live like you mean it. Later, J

Today's list of what is on my mind

1: Will our society survive ourselves 2: Do we even deserve to survive; why are we, as a country, society, still not understanding why hate has no place in our hearts. 3: Protesting doesn't include riots 4. Protesting doesn't include looting/rioting 5: Free persons protest; criminals loot/riot 6: Protesters are not criminals because they protest; two different groups of people; not to be judged as one 7: My mom scolded me harshly for ever using the word "hate" said about a person or group. 8: Many of us are tired; exhausted; tired of anxiety about illness and exhausted by grief. 9: I want to go to the forest 10: I want to go to the ocean 11: I want people to value other people; you don't have to like everyone or agree with them, just accept they are equal. 12: Black Lives Matter.

Embrace the Bacongal, and what ever I'm itching to say !

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