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I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in

And I don't know why.  I've wondered if it's my own insecurity.  But it's more than that.


I believe it stems completely from not being a mother.  I'm always sucking hind tit so to speak when it comes to a place in the lives of the children I have helped raise. 


That point has been brought home to me very clearly in the past 24 hours.  Right now I can best describe my feelings as feeling like I have mosquito netting between myself and my step kids.  I am not in control of that netting, and neither are they, but it exists and all it does is filter out what each of us has to say.

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