Monday, April 11, 2011

Ahhh what a time I have had

Blogging has been on the back burner, the way back burner as of late.

The past month I have been coping, dealing and trying to help with my step-father's illness. Sadly, Ken died March 25th.

Last week was especially stressful. We had Pinky and IronMan for the week. April 5 is also the anniversary of my own Dad's death and Ken's memorial service was set for Saturday the 8th.

The kids had doctor appointments and youth group. I had envisioned a very hard week for me. The driving was too much, the phone calls, many comforting my bio-Mom, were painful, but in the end it was all made better by having the kids.

Having them here with Riddick and I meant that I could not just lay down in my bed and cry for a day, or hide in my house, like I choose to do quite often.

Do you ever like to do that? Plan days where you don't leave your home, puttering around, cooking, plucking your guitar, organizing..or just reading. I love those days. Never used to. I always wanted to be away from home when home was miserable.

I was nervous to actually tell the kids what was going on inside of me with remembering my Dad's death. Riddick told me I could trust them, to take a chance and let them see my exposed underbelly. And I did.

And..he was right. Pinky and Ironman are definitely wonderful human beings. They are a product of their parents, who despite their differences work very hard at getting along, and respecting one another.

This situation is so so much different than my first marriage. That relationship was marred with selfishness and dis-respect from him, to me, to the kids, to the ex..heck to the whole world. But each time I am reminded of how crappy things were than, it just makes now even more beautiful.

So even though at $3.70 a gallon, driving all over hell and gone was expensive, and the co-pays at the doctor quickly add up, I was once again truly grateful for who my family is now, and how special each and everyone one of them is to me.

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