Skip to main content

The best advice she ever gave me

I know that I missed out on a great deal of time with my mom. She got sick when I was 13 and died 4 months after I turned 16. But what she gave me was amazing. It stuck with me.

She told me that every date was a possible mate, so never date someone that wasn’t up to your standards. And that it was ok to have standards. It’s not being snobby or rude to keep yourself away from people that live lives that aren’t what you want for your own. I’m not talking about how much money you have or what you drive. I’m talking about bad boys that bring along drugs and alcohol and sex…all big time no no’s for girls.

She assured me that I wasn’t weird because I was still a virgin. I thought I was. I lied to my friends because I was embarrassed to say I wasn’t.

But probably what I remember her saying the most our two distinct statements that helped me a lot, even now at 37;

“It’s all right to not know what you want, but be very sure you know what you don’t want”

Amen sista…if you don’t know what you don’t want, you might get stuck with it..and nobody wants that!

“When you have sex with someone you give them a part of you, and if you give a way a part of yourself, you don’t have enough left for you or for the man you will marry”

That was the perfect way to explain it to me. She wasn’t saying that girls who had sex before they got married were evil whores. What she was saying is that you can’t give your heart away to every boy that you "have feelings for" and expect to have it whole for you and your future husband.

It made more sense to me than what so many women say now, basically contradicting themselves. They tell their daughters not to have sex when they are little girls, and than when they start to date in high school, they waffle and tell them that you should only have sex with someone that you really care about. "That you have feelings for" "That you Love" blah blah blah..

Hello. Wake up!

At 15 you don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground, how can you tell your own feelings!

Ok that’s my rant for the day, have a nice day :-)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Visit out of the blue

I have mixed feelings about people just dropping by our home.  Most of the time the folks that just stop by are friends that live nearby and drop by when they are visiting another mutual friend in the neighborhood.  Nothing is expected and nothing is awkward.

Last weekend we had surprise visitor from my former step-son.  I say "former" not because I stopped considering my step-sons from my first marriage family when we divorced, but to specify that I am not talking of Zach.  It is odd that I have been rather a permanent step parent since I was 18.  My first marriage (I only have two, don't panic) I was step-mom to two boys, full time, as their Dad had custody.  It was a very unpleasant situation.  The parents did not get along; in fact they actively fought and it was miserable.  I really do not feel like dredging all of it up but it involved courts both civil and criminal.  Looking back now I think that their mother was treated badly and even though she had made mistake…

I was gone but now I am here

I had to set my blog aside while I finished my degree and adjusted to new challenges at work.  I moved into a management position in 2016 and also decided to further my education.

While I can say that I am happy I did it, I can also say I am happy it is done.  My college education has always been done while working full time.  The majority of my schooling has been funded by employer provided educational assistance.  While that is a gift I am grateful for, it did not pay for all and it required me to work full time and school 3/4 time.

Working and going to school was much easier in the 20's than now in my 40's.  All of a sudden I feel my age creeping into my life like mold.  I know it is partly because while pursuing this most recent educational goal I also had major knee surgery, leaving me in a wheel chair for six weeks.  I felt the consequences of my age in fatigue from working and studying but also in the comparison between recovering from a hysterectomy in my 30's qu…