Skip to main content

Yesterday was my birthday

I turned 38 yesterday. It was a good day. My party was the day before so it was quiet for me, but we helped celebrate the birthday of the sweet daughter of some friends, she is turning 9.

I could not help but reflect on the difference a year has made in my life. My life before was a lie. Not a lie about me, but covering for the sins and mis-deeds done by my former husband. I felt a tremendous need to be protective of him, even though he was causing me so much pain and misery. In fact I prayed everyday that he would stop his abusive ways.

I knew that even if he stopped he wasn't the man for me, but I was willing to stay in a marriage simply because I made a commitment to him and God.

When the you know what hit the fan finally on May 21st 2009 there was a switch in me. I knew that I had to end the marriage or lose myself completely.

My birthday last year was terrifying. I have some amazing friends, AP and R, that took me in and made me feel loved, but I knew that I was now alone in this world.

So AP threw me what she called a "Re-birthday party". We had fish tacos and strawberry shortcake, my favs. I came downstairs after one of several cries and posed for some pics.

One of those pics was one I used on e-harmony.

A picture of my pain was a rung in the ladder of things that led me to the life I live now.

None of us every really knows what is around the corner.

Live and love like you mean it, every single day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Visit out of the blue

I have mixed feelings about people just dropping by our home.  Most of the time the folks that just stop by are friends that live nearby and drop by when they are visiting another mutual friend in the neighborhood.  Nothing is expected and nothing is awkward.

Last weekend we had surprise visitor from my former step-son.  I say "former" not because I stopped considering my step-sons from my first marriage family when we divorced, but to specify that I am not talking of Zach.  It is odd that I have been rather a permanent step parent since I was 18.  My first marriage (I only have two, don't panic) I was step-mom to two boys, full time, as their Dad had custody.  It was a very unpleasant situation.  The parents did not get along; in fact they actively fought and it was miserable.  I really do not feel like dredging all of it up but it involved courts both civil and criminal.  Looking back now I think that their mother was treated badly and even though she had made mistake…

I was gone but now I am here

I had to set my blog aside while I finished my degree and adjusted to new challenges at work.  I moved into a management position in 2016 and also decided to further my education.

While I can say that I am happy I did it, I can also say I am happy it is done.  My college education has always been done while working full time.  The majority of my schooling has been funded by employer provided educational assistance.  While that is a gift I am grateful for, it did not pay for all and it required me to work full time and school 3/4 time.

Working and going to school was much easier in the 20's than now in my 40's.  All of a sudden I feel my age creeping into my life like mold.  I know it is partly because while pursuing this most recent educational goal I also had major knee surgery, leaving me in a wheel chair for six weeks.  I felt the consequences of my age in fatigue from working and studying but also in the comparison between recovering from a hysterectomy in my 30's qu…